Most of the time we act on impulse, we correct in the present moment when the desired behavior happens. But what can we observe? We find that the same behavior becomes repetitive, and the parent is not heard and listened to, despite the efforts and explanations they give the child about the right way to act. Why don't we tell the child that it's time to go to bed, brush his teeth, tidy up his room or stop spending so much time on the phone?
The most inappropriate moments to change a behavior are when they happen, the child does not hear the messages transmitted precisely because he is focused on his need. Both the parent and the child become tense, the child will do everything in his power to continue his activity and will not respond to his requests.
We will not correct the behavior when the child leaves or comes home, or in the first hour in which he has contact with the parent.
A first step is to establish clear routines, which are respected and maintained by all family members.
The time spent together will relax and de-tension what happened outside the home and the child will be able to receive information with greater openness.
Choosing the moment of the day when we talk about the behavior we want to change has a real impact, and this can be when you are at dinner, when you take a walk in the open air or when you carry out an enjoyable activity with your child. These are some optimal times when the child will be open to hearing the message and will be receptive to the information received. Constancy and cyclicity in the transmission of information lead to obtaining the desired behavior.
Happy parents, happy and receptive children!
Psychologist Carmen Mariana Ardeleanu
