"The child who needs love the most is often the one who is the least kind." - Jacques Salomé
The tantrum is the natural manifestation of the emotions of the child between the ages of 1 and 3 years, which gave rise to screaming, crying, hitting, being thrown on the ground, in moments of frustration-anger, from the inability to express the feelings he is experiencing, or, based on discomfort, of tiredness, hunger, or he doesn't get the attention he wants. Maybe it happened to you, either as a parent, or you were the witness of such behaviors of children and you did not understand or did not know how to react to manifestations of this kind.
To avoid the presence of unwanted behavior in certain situations, ask questions that can have multiple answers, such as "do you collect your toys first or do you wash?", "do you eat in the park or do we go home to get your snack". In these moments the child is trained in the development of personal autonomy, he feels that he is in control, the power is in his hand, and the probability of a refusal is diminished.
Try not to give in and approve of negative behaviors out of a desire to avoid being put in awkward situations in public, as the child learns by association and thus you will set a precedent, the tantrum being the way to get what he wants.
Act firmly but gently, convey that you understand the discomfort he is going through, be empathetic, hug him and teach him how he can manage and overcome the situation, or distract him with another activity.
If the tantrum is happening to get attention, stay calm and for a short time ignore the behavior, you will initially notice the amplification of the desirable behavior, later, being consistent, the tantrum will diminish and disappear.
Once tantrums become rarer as they get older, provided they are managed properly, the child will not get what they want in moments of crisis, otherwise this behavior can extend into adolescence.
Be calm, present and empathetic!
Psychologist Carmen Mariana Ardeleanu
