From birth, the child seeks the physical and emotional support of the parents, the attachment to the reference adult with whom he is in contact during the first months of life. That is why a very important aspect is how we interact and relate (response/reaction) to the child in his first years of life.
In the specialized literature, several types of attachment are highlighted, such as secure or safe attachment, insecure - ambivalent, insecure - avoidant and disorganized attachment.
In what follows, I choose to present you with relevant information that can help you create a secure attachment relationship.
We talk about a happy and balanced child when the parent provides a secure attachment. The balanced parent himself is empathetic, sensitive to the child's needs, supportive, emotionally connected, makes strong connections, is firm but not rigid, sets healthy limits and rules with the child, shows him love without considering that he is spoiling him, all family members are equal regardless of age, respect is mutual, the child has the courage and confidence to call when he needs, he shares his feelings knowing that there are no judgments.
The child who develops a secure attachment is creative, communicative, has a rich and age-appropriate vocabulary, is focused for a longer period of time in learning or play activities, interacts with greater openness in the social environment, both with adults and and with those of his age. He has confidence in himself and in his own strength. He develops in a healthy way skills that help him establish social relationships.
The type of attachment is essential in the child's development, but it must be managed wisely so as not to cause imbalances in the parent-child relationship, respectively in the child-adolescent-adult evolution.
If the child cries, do not suppress his emotions, making statements like: Why are you crying? Stop and I'll listen to you later! It is important that at that moment we are supportive and empathetic assuring him that we are there for him. I see your upset and I know it can be hard, but we all have times when we feel that way, I'm here for you and if you want to tell me what's bothering you, I'll listen.
Specialized studies mention the fact that a child with a secure attachment will rarely show depressive symptoms.
The benefits of a harmonious parent-child relationship calm and regulate the nervous system, provide psychological and mental relaxation, psycho-emotional stability in the life of the future adult.
Secure attachment, balanced child!
Psychologist Carmen Mariana Ardeleanu
