"First love is just a little stupidity and a lot of curiosity." – George Bernard Shaw
Adolescence is the period in which transformations take place at the biological, psychological and social level, it is the period in which the transition from childhood to puberty and maturity is made, the moment in which the personality is shaped, new skills are acquired, and those that were previously known become unknown to all family members. At this moment, the adolescent enters an inner-emotional conflict, the need for autonomy and independence appears, divergences of opinion are more frequent, the young person fiercely challenges the parental authority, and the defense of his own ideas is increasingly present.
Within romantic relationships, both in adolescence and in adulthood, there are 4 stages, namely:
- love - is the moment when you explore the person you are interested in, emotions are more and more present, the body reacts (empty in the stomach, redness, trembling), everyone's needs are met, life is "pink" and everything has a positive connotation ,
- confrontation with reality - life takes on other colors, less pleasant aspects of the partner that were previously not noticed also begin to emerge,
- the conflict - in this stage there are arguments, contradictory discussions, reproaches, separations/reconciliations, and the cycle starts again,
– the relationship based on love and respect – this last stage is completed by those who have overcome the previous obstacles, communication is now assertive, the relationship is based on trust and mutual respect.
In adolescence, some of the previously mentioned stages are not completed, relationships are idealized, everything is a dream like a fairy tale, the belief that no one and nothing can intervene in their story, emotions are experienced at maximum intensity and disappear as quickly as - they made an appearance, which causes an emotional and/or behavioral imbalance, where communication is difficult and clumsy. The adolescent in the romantic relationship refers to himself, to his own pattern "learned" within the family, through which he will shape a romantic relationship of short or long duration, in balance and harmony or a dependent relationship that will later harm him.
When the young man is searching and discovering the secrets of a romantic relationship the fear of rejection is a real challenge. He looks to those close to his age for support, most of the time being other teenage friends.
There is a need for validation, confirmation, valorization, support in decisions, and free expression, confidence that he has made the most appropriate choices, to know that he is not being judged or criticized.
Understanding and following the steps of a romantic relationship, going through some learning exercises and the experiences of trained mentors make the future teen experience healthy romantic relationships.
Love and you will receive love!
Carmen Mariana Ardeleanu, psychologist
